


A Bit of Help

by gardenhearted



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Implied Violence, M/M, Mild Cursing, Mild Language, Mystery, Slightly spooky, and Stern is reaaaaaally bad at being subtle, in which Dani & Aubrey are adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 05:10:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18190178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardenhearted/pseuds/gardenhearted
Summary: When Dani loses Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD while petsitting when the Pine Guard are off saving the world or whatever, it’s up to her and a motley assortment of Kepler’s residents to find the mischievous rabbit (and possibly uncover a shocking secret).Written for theTAZ Amnesty Mini Bang!





	A Bit of Help

**Author's Note:**

> It was a pleasure and privilege to work with the lovely windywords123 on tumblr for this project! Check out the awesome art for this fic here: [here](https://windywords123.tumblr.com/post/183614872780/a-bit-of-help-gardenhearted-the-adventure-zonel)  
> This was sorta rushed/late but so much fun and I'm so glad there's such an awesome community for such a cool podcast. Thanks for including me, you cool babies.

"Oh, oh fuck."

Dani looked at the empty cage. The empty cage with a conspicuously-open cage door. And Professor Bonkers, PhD was nowhere to be seen. 

 

Panic hit Dani in waves.  _ Okay, he has to be nearby, he couldn't have gotten far, I've only been out of the room for twenty minutes _ . Her room in Amnesty Lodge wasn't small, but it wasn't a grand suite or anything. She quickly checked under the bed, in the closet, beneath the dresser and tv table. Growing increasingly anxious, she threw the pillows off her bed, emptied the trash cans, and lifted the curtains.  _ Fuck it _ , she thought, checking the mini fridge.  _ Where could a ten pound rabbit even hide? _

A knock at the door made her jump. "Come in!" she cried out, too busy emptying her sock drawer to get up and open it. In walked Barclay, who took in the state of the room with a surprising level of grace. 

Looking down at Dani, who was sprawled on her floor, covered in loose socks, now digging through her sweater drawer, he cleared his throat.

"Just wanted to let you know uh, dinner's, uh…” He eyed the loose socks. “You doing okay, Dani?"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, I am suuuuuuuper fine," Dani said sweetly, jumping up and picking a loose sock off her shoulder. "You didn't happen to see anything, er, white and fluffy running down the hallway just now, did you?"

Barclay's gentle eyes went to the empty cage on Dani's table and his face immediately registered the situation with an inaudible  _ oooohhhhhhh _ . 

"No, sorry hon. Look, I have a few minutes, why don't I help you find him? He couldn't have gotten far," Barclay answered, glancing one more time around the trashed room before stepping his burly form back out into the hallway. Dani's room was on the third floor, at the end of a long hallway. Her only neighbor was Jake Coolice, who lived across the hall and tended to spend more time outside during these winter months than in. Barclay decided it was worth a shot and gave the door a quick knock.

 

“Yo! Come on in!” A muffled but jovial voice rang out from behind the closed door. Barclay gingerly eased the door open and peeked in, searching for Jake’s form among the heaps of unwashed laundry, stacks of snowboarding magazines, and sports gear. Jake’s shaggy head popped up from his bed, where he was waxing a snowboard. “Hey man! Whassup?”

“Did you happen to see, uh, Mr. Bonkers?” Barclay immediately felt Dani’s eyes boring holes into the back of his head and quickly corrected himself. “Er, Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD?”

“Nah, man,” Jake said, standing up. “Did he go out on the town himself or something?”

“Yeah, looks like it,” Barclay said, turning to Dani, who was wandering up and down the hallway with a fretful look on her face. “You didn’t happen to hear Aubrey come back or anything right?”

“Don’t think so,” Jake said, catching a glimpse of Dani’s concerned face from the hallway as she peeked into his room, trying to get a look around Barclay’s form. “Maybe, I’ll lend a hand? Yeah,” he said, bounding up and jumping out into the hallway.

“But you know,” he said suddenly, just as he was closing his door behind him, “I did hear like, some noises? Like people tryna talk quietly?” 

“Aaaaaand?” Dani said, impatience in her usually-calm voice. 

“Yeah, like you know how the walls here are super thin...it sounded like they were talking about something, real urgent-like.”

“Did you hear any names? Did they go into my room?”

“Nah, I didn’t hear any of that. Just like, talking. Yeah.”

Dani suppressed the urge to sigh. “Okay,” she said, trying to center herself. “He’s just a rabbit, albeit a very educated one. I’m sure he’s somewhere in the Lodge. Let’s go check downstairs, and--” she looked at the two of them-- “don’t let on that anything’s wrong if Aubrey comes back. Just tell her, I’m, uh, walking Dr. Harris Bonkers. Got it?”

They nodded.

\---

“Barclay!”

As Dani, Jake, and Barclay descended to the ground floor after checking the second and third floors thoroughly, a shout suddenly accosted them. Rushing over was Agent Stern, looking a mixture of confident and pleased.

“Hey good lookin’ with the fine cookin’, there you are!” Stern said, obviously addressing Barclay.  _ If Barclay could blush under his beard, he probably would be right now _ , thought Dani, who grinned despite her growing concern for the rabbit. 

“I missed you at dinner, Barclay!” Stern also seemed to notice Dani and Jake there on the stairs too, and smiled at them. “You guys too! Everyone seems like they’re in a rush, what’s up?”

Barclay hesitated, probably still reeling from Stern’s sunny greeting. Dani jumped in.

“So you remember Aubrey’s rabbit, right? He--”

“Ah yes!” Stern exclaimed. “Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD. He is really a lovely specimen. I’m quite an animal lover myself, you know--”

“Right,” Dani said, cutting him off. “So he’s gone missing, and we were wondering, you didn’t happen to see him recently, have you? Or did Aubrey come by and pick him up, or--”

“Actually, yes,” Stern said, jutting a thumb over his shoulder towards the entrance. “Someone in a black hoodie just carried him outside. I didn’t see their face but I assumed it was Aubrey…”

_ Oh no _ , Dani thought, mind racing.  _ If it was Aubrey, why wouldn’t she have waited in the room...Would someone steal Dr. Bonkers to get at Aubrey? _

Stern finally seemed to pick up on the tension in Dani’s disposition, and his face became serious.

“A missing person’s case is considered a federal crime. Perhaps I can help you find him? But only--” Stern turned to Barclay and gave him an unabashed wink, “--if a certain cook teaches me tonight’s dinner recipe.” 

Jake grinned maniacally as Barclay did his best to keep his face looking serious. “Of course, Agent. Shall we?”

Dani took off towards the lobby doors. Just as she reached them, they swung open, and a large form filled the doorway.

“Dani, my girl! What’s the rush?”

Mama’s kind face peered down at the blonde. 

“Sorry Mama, would love to talk, but--”

“Mr. Bonkers is missing?”

Dani raised an eyebrow at her, and pursed her lips.

“Oh! Right. I mean, Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD?”

“Yes! Have you seen him?”

“Oh yeah,” Mama nodded, pointing out down the hill away from the Lodge into town. “Just saw somebody carry him out and down towards town. I just assumed it was you or Aubrey…”

“Thanks!” Dani cried, sprinting down the hill. Mama was pushed aside as Jake Coolice, Barclay, and Agent Stern followed suit.

\---

The late-winter air was brisk, and Dani wasn’t dressed for it. The cool air whipped through her long blonde hair as she slowed to a jog, stepping to the side of the road to avoid an oncoming ranger vehicle.

“Out for a jog, missy?”

Park Ranger Juno stuck her head out of her ranger vehicle, pulling over to the side of the road, alongside Dani. Barclay, Stern, and Jake lagged behind, mostly because Stern seemed to be talking Barclay’s ear off and Jake had stopped to stretch because he “didn’t know they were going for a run” and didn’t want to strain his snowboarding muscles.

Dani pointed to the ranger radio in Juno’s vehicle. “Hey, is there any way you can get in touch with the Sheriff or anybody to see if anyone has found a pet rabbit? It’s a longshot, but…”

“Oh yeah, of course, hon! What’s the description?”

“He’s a snow white rabbit, with red eyes, last seen in the arms of someone in a black hoodie…”

Ranger Juno eyes lit up, and she nodded vigorously. “You must be one of Duck and Aubrey’s friends, I’d know Bonkers anywhere! Lemme tell the station, we’ll find ‘em.” Juno held up her radio, saying a few coded words before waiting for a response and explaining the missing rabbit. 

“Thanks,” Dani said, turning away from the vehicle back towards town, but Juno stuck out her arm and shouted at her to wait. “Hop in the car, sweetie, you and all your friends. I’m no Park Ranger if I can’t find a missing animal…”

Dani hopped in the passenger seat and Jake, Stern, and Barclay climbed into the backseat, a little squished, as Juno set off towards town, yakking about the time Leo Tarkesian lost his pet turtle and they never found it because it was under his bed the whole time, yada yada…

Dani was preoccupied with the mental image of a mysterious figure, whisking away Aubrey’s best friend into the wintry landscape.  _ What would they have to gain by kidnapping him? Was it related to the hunt?  _ The thought of someone creeping around the Lodge and into her room to steal Dr. Bonkers made her shiver.  _ Why didn’t anyone notice something suspicious? Or say something? This whole situation is strange-- _

“Wait! I have an idea!” Jake suddenly blurted out from the backseat, where he was squished between Barclay and Agent Stern. They all turned to stare at him, expectantly. 

He chuckled nervously. “Well, uh, listen guys, if there’s anybody suspicious in town, who, uh, might be up to something, having to do with Aubrey or Ned or Duck, well, it’s probably...you know.”

Silence. Dani shifted uncomfortably.

\--

The ranger vehicle pulled up to the bar, the same one where a massacre had killed several Hornets several years ago. Despite the horrific event, the bar was still a major hideout for the Hornets, who begrudgingly agreed to help the Pine Guard monitor the town’s safety after that fateful attack.

Jake hopped out of the car vigorously, eyeing the building. “So listen guys, I’ll go in first, kinda get a feel, see if Hollis is there--”

Before he could finish talking, the door to the bar opened, and three vaguely-familiar guys with jackets emblazoned with the Hornets logo emerged, hands poised to light cigarettes. Catching sight of Jake, they immediately started scowling. The tallest one flicked him off, and the other two crossed their arms protectively, hovering around the door. 

Jake laughed nervously, waving weakly before jumping back in the car and slamming the car door shut with gusto. “Nevermind. You guys got this.”

Stern immediately jumped out and went over, with Juno hesitantly following a few steps behind. The rest of the car’s occupants waited inside the vehicle, where they could see him flash his badge, followed by a few muffled words to which the Hornets just laughed and flicked cigarette ash at him. 

Seeing that this was going nowhere, Dani hopped out. The Hornets immediately saw her and the sneers melted off their faces, turning into silent, angry frowns.

“Hey,” she said, shoving her hands in her pockets and walking up with as much confidence as she could muster. “Listen up. A certain punk rock magical flame girl is missing her rabbit. She won’t be pleased if she has to come down here and retrieve him.” She took a deep breath, and eyed their cigarettes. “Why don’t you tell him where he is, before--” she pointed to the tallest one’s lighter-- “she finds out.”

They stared at her, unmoving.

The shortest one, a scrappy looking fella with a shaved head, gulped audibly, and pointed to the trees behind the bar. “Saw Hollis go that way a few minutes ago, you just missed them. Think they were headed into the woods.” The other two Hornets turned and scowled at him, and the tallest one cuffed him upside the head, muttering something about being incompetent.

Dani nodded at the trio of Hornets, and turned on her heel, briskly walking towards the woods. 

“Whoa there,” Juno cried, hurrying to catch up with her. Dani barely heard her; she was fuming.  _ We had an agreement with the Hornets. Why would they do this? Is it to target Aubrey?  _

 

Stern shot an authoritative glance at the Hornets before following Dani and Juno, with Jake and Barclay hopping out of the car to follow them. The Hornets watched them walk away silently, smoke faintly curling up from their cigarettes, into the fading light.

 

\--

 

As they walked into the woods, Juno stepped forward, pointing out a deer trail to follow while they search. Dani dashed ahead, down the trail. She heard Juno’s shouts to  _ slow down!  _ fading behind her as she turned a bend, half-jogging. Dusk was settling in, with long shadows cast by the trees. Patches of melting snow spotted the ground, and thick mud sucked at her shoes. Despite the soft terrain, she didn’t see any tracks--animal or human.  _ That’s weird _ , she thought.  _ For a deer trail, there’s very few tracks. And no signs of broken foliage or anything.  _ As she delved further and further into the woods, the trees become denser, and slivers of sunlight barely lit the path. Dani moved quickly but silently, caught up in her thoughts.  _ The Pine Guard have been investigating this area as part of their hunt. I need to be on my toes. _

 

A rustling sound shook her from her thoughts. About ten yards ahead of her, something in the underbrush was moving. She tensed, readying herself for a battle.  _ I’ll get Dr. Bonkers back if I have to rip him from Hollis’ hands _ .

 

Remembering her friends, she slowed down. “Guys, they’re up ahead, stay behind me,” she called back to the group without turning. 

There was no response. She turned around. 

There wasn’t a trace of her friends. 

Everyone had disappeared from behind her. 

_ I’m alone _ . 

As this revelation occurred to her, her feet caught on something and she went sprawling.

Picking herself up off the leafy forest earth, she looked behind her to see what she tripped on.

 

It was a figure. In ratty jeans, laying on their side, wearing a leather jacket with something on the back of it...a Hornet’s logo.

_ Hollis.  _

She leaned over them, terrified of what she’d find. To her relief, Hollis was definitely breathing, and seemed fairly unscathed. In fact, they were breathing very deeply, almost, like...a snore?  _ Is Hollis taking a nap? _

She poked their cheek. No movement. 

Deciding that something definitely weird was going on in these woods, but not immediately dangerous, she took off her thick flannel and draped it over them, hoping to keep them warm while she went back to find the others. But something caught her eye as she was turning away. 

 

Something on the ground. 

Something white, and fluffy, with beady red eyes peering up through the dark.

 

“Dr. Harris Bonkers!” Dani exclaimed, reaching down to pick him up. He deftly jumped from her reach and sat up on his hind legs, staring at her. _ A little odd _ , Dani thought, since he was usually so amenable to being held. “What’s up, lil guy? Did Hollis scare you, the big mean thug…”

 

“No, I would never be scared by such a rapscallion.”

Dani dropped into a crouch, scanning the trees around her, looking for the source of the voice. 

 

“I’m right here, in front of you.”

The voice sounded like it was everywhere, and nowhere, at the same time. Almost like it was right in front of her.

Dani’s eyes landed back on the rabbit, whose gaze hadn’t broken from her.

“Dr...Bonkers? Is that...you? Talking to me?”

“Yes, I am talking to you, Dani.”

Dani’s mind reeled.  _ A talking rabbit? Shouldn’t be that surprising, given the kind of being from Sylvain. But in this world? Did Aubrey know she had a talking rabbit? _

"I'm not just any rabbit. I have certain abilities. The lab that the Lady Flame rescued me from? Let's just say that it was destroyed long ago."

Dani stared at him, resisting the urge to laugh in his face. “This is absolutely wild.”

“Oh, I suppose for you it probably is,” Bonkers said, not with his mouth, but in a peculiar voice in her head. It was deep, quiet, and somber. 

Bonkers explained quickly that he also has the ability to control minds, of any creature, for up to ten minutes. He had used it a few times in the past, only to realize one major flaw--he could use it, whenever, and on whoever. But only once. 

 

“So you used your power to control Hollis’ mind? To bring you here?” Dani asked, speaking loudly. She wasn’t sure what the etiquette was with telepathy yet. “Why? And won’t that mean you can’t…”

"I'll never be able to control Hollis' mind ever again, correct. But they didn't seem like such a nice person, so I didn't think they'd be hanging around you guys much more in the future anyway."

"Have you controlled...Aubrey?"

"NO!" Bonkers exclaimed, his voice booming. "How dare you assume...that you'd think...never! In my days! Would I ever consider such a thing!"

"How do I know you didn't control her to get you out of the lab?"

"You must believe me, Dani,” Bonkers said, his voice returning to its calm, deep tone. “I didn't realize the extent of my powers until after I had been rescued from there. I was just a baby rabbit at the time, I could hardly open my eyes. Aubrey was the one who saved me when I was completely defenseless."

_ Yeah, that sounds like Aubrey.  _

"Precisely," the bunny answered Dani telepathically. 

"Oh shit you can read minds too, that makes sense," Dani sighed. 

She looked down at Hollis’ sleeping body. “So uh, how’d you knock out Hollis though?”

“I made them run into a tree.”

Dani stared dubiously at the rabbit, and then over at Hollis, and then back at the rabbit again. And then burst out laughing.

“Oh...my god….so you literally, like, told them to walk into a tree? AND THEY JUST DID THAT?”

“Indeed. It was more of a full sprint, but you get the idea.” 

Dani was laughing so hard she was wiping away tears. “So...just to be clear...you can communicate telepathically...and control minds...so why didn’t you just have Hollis drop you and then leave them confused in the woods?”

The bunny hopped a little nervously, flicking its ears up and down. 

“Well, I didn’t think I would enjoy it as much.”

Dani chuckled. “You’re kind of twisted for a rabbit, but I like you, Bonkers. Wait, is that your preferred name?”

“It’s what the Lady Flame christened me with, all those years ago, and I shall never know another name since.”

“Okay, Charles Dickens. But real talk time,” she said, crouching down to get closer to eye-level with the rabbit. “So… what’s the plan here? You’re in your adolescent phase? Trying to run off to visit a sweetheart? Travel the world to find yourself?”

The bunny was silent. 

“I know why you were exiled from Sylvain.” 

Dani was instantly quieted. A wind was picking up as the sun was setting, catching her blonde hair and gently playing with it. 

“I miss them, you know. More than anything in the world.”

The rabbit twitched its whiskers. “I understand, somewhat. I never knew my parents, or my siblings, if I had any. Aubrey is all I’ve ever known.”

Dani shook her head. “No, you don’t understand. You didn’t have it, then to lose it. I’ll never see my family, my friends, my neighbors…” her voice contorted, an obvious attempt to keep her voice calm and carefree. “I made a mistake, and I have to live with that. It was my fault alone, and I deserve to face the consequences.” 

“You deserve many things in my estimation, Dani--”

Before he could finish, Dani interrupted. “Yeah yeah yeah I deserve a lot of things, like a bubble bath and some hot cocoa. Can we please get back to the lodge before Aubrey finds out you’re missing? I don’t want her to come back and not find us there..”

The rabbit was silent, looking up at her unblinkingly with its eerie, red eyes. 

“What? Did I  _ hop in _ to the wrong subject? You’re acting a little  _ bunny _ ...” 

The rabbit stayed silent, and instead turn and hopped off into the undergrowth. 

“Waitwaitwaitwait! Come back!” Dani cried, leaping over Hollis and following the rabbit into the bushes and melting snow between the trees. “I take it back! You’re a very intelligent, independent rabbit and I respect…”

Her rushed compliments trailed off as she followed the rabbit’s direction and entered a clearing. 

 

The clearing opened to a cliff overlooking a valley, with a twining river below. The pines were catching the setting sun’s rays, and the moon was already shining in the sky. Near the edge of the cliff there were two short tree stumps, and between them, a blanket spread with an array of picnic food--cheeses, fruit, a bottle of wine and two glasses. 

Before Dani could wonder out loud what it all was, she heard a crash and muffled swearing off to her side. Emerging out of the pines was shape, one arm outstretched with a flame  billowing from an open palm.

“Aubrey?”

“Oh hey, Dani! Look, have you seen Ned and Duck, I think I lost them back in the woods...er, wait, what uh are you doing out here?”

“What are YOU doing out here?”

“Uh, I asked you first?!”

Dani rushed over and hugged Aubrey, fiercely pulling her slightly-taller body into hers. “I just want you to know I love you so much but please don’t be mad…”

“Mad? What, babe, I…”

Dani felt something on her foot. Looking down, she saw Professor Bonkers, sitting upright, his face looking up at them. Dani could've sworn his whiskers were upturned in a shit-eating grin.

Aubrey followed Dani’s gaze and saw Bonkers. “Doctor Bonkers, you came too! I’ve missed you so much!” She bent down and picked him up, petting him and scratching behind one ear. He affectionately nuzzled into her arms. Dani looked quizzically at the rabbit, trying to think really really loudly.  _ What is going on here? Why is Aubrey here?  _ _ Where is everyone? _

Aubrey only then looked around the clearing and saw the picnic. “Oh, babe! You shouldn’t have! All this to welcome me back after our hunt?” She grabbed Dani’s hand and pulled her over to the two tree stumps, and sat in one. “This is the sweetest thing!”

Perplexed, Dani sat down. Before she could ask Aubrey if she saw anyone else in the woods, she heard a twig snap, behind them in the pines. Whirling around, she heard some muffled whispers and saw seven faces peering out. Mama, Jake, Hollis, Juno...with Agent Stern leaning on Barclay. Jake flashed her a thumbs up sign and waggled his eyebrows. He was carrying something on his back--was that Hollis? And he turned and disappeared into the woods. Barclay mouthed something--”enjoy”?--before pulling a tired-looking Stern away by the shirtsleeve. Mama simply waved before disappearing into the woods. They were suddenly alone. 

Bonkers looked at Dani from Aubrey’s arms, the golden rays from the setting sun catching his fur and lighting him up golden.  _ You deserve many things, in my estimation, Dani _ .  _ And many people feel the same. _

Aubrey’s eyes were catching the same golden sunlight. With a flick of her fingers, she lit two tall candles that were at the center of the picnic spread. Reaching out a hand, Aubrey took Dani’s hand in hers, and gazed at her. 

“I can’t believe you did all this by yourself, babe.”

Dani felt like laughing.  _ What a crazy day. _

“Don’t worry, I had a bit of help.” 

 


End file.
